The September Issue Whisperer
In addition to letting us know that we need a new fall wardrobe and should be hitting up their advertisers, the September issues of magazines are notoriously loud. We've read a handful of our favorites to distill the wisdom that lies within their pages. This is what we believe they're really trying to say.
W
W is now an erudite read, or so Stefano Tonchi wants you to think. It’s Harper’s with, like, better shoes.
The cover typography on Stefano Tonchi’s first issue of W as editor-in-chief is a vast improvement. No more road-cone orange cover lines; and the W title is actually in italics now. Genius. Tonchi obviously is on a mission to pulverize critics who insist that the magazine is and will never be anything other than an “image-driven” publication with a few snoozy features sprinkled throughout for posterity.
Such a gripe was never the case, of course. While it’s no New Yorker, W always has at least one article worthy of your consumption. But Tonchi’s push for big-name writers appears, at least in the debut issue, to be a success. The NYT’s Lynn Hirschberg—who stole our hearts all over again for her recent, scathing profile of the subversive hip hop star-turned Brentwood soccer mom M.I.A.— is an editor-at-large, and we expect a good take-down from her in a future issue.
That said, one cannot use the term “Hollywood’s New It-Girls” on a cover and expect the world to swoon over your brilliance. Cliché. Dead. Done. Next, please.
British GQ
Your eyes linger over a photo of Christina Hendricks on a magazine cover at least three times longer than one of Natalia Vodianova.
You've heard the gripes about the latest season of Mad Men. How many more women can Don Draper bed before we yawn? How much more bratty behavior from Betts can we withstand before downing the remainder of our Sunday evening in scotch? (And not good scotch, either). Yet Joan Holloway endures. We defy you to find anyone who clucks their tongue when she saunters on screen. "She's what makes the workplace so fun -- in a workplace that can be so dark and so much tension, Joan gives some levity," Hendricks says for British GQ.
Whatever staleness there is in the story lines of some of Mad Men's more flat-footed characters, Joan has never been more intriguing, nor have costume designer Janie Bryant's creations been more stunning.
Nylon Guys
Smart, quirky, geeky guys are where it's at.
Jason Schwartzman is on the cover, styled by his wife Brady Cuningham. He is wearing a pair of salmon-colored Diesel jeans that she probably wouldn't let him wear out in public. But he still looks pretty cute.
One of the very first ads features an architectural designer named Christian Wasserman posing for Target. He is wearing a buttoned up plaid shirt, has curly hair and a pair of glasses that a van-driving kidnapper would wear circa 1983 (or appear in a Lifetime movie circa 1994). But hey, he's also kind of cute.
Moving on we have a profile about Magnus Carlsen, a 19 year-old Norwegian lad who is the new face of G-Star and the highest ranked chess player in the world. He looks all brooding and angsty. And hot.
We couldn't even make it through the spread about the pastry chefs and cheese makers. We were much too hot and bothered.
Marie Claire
Book deals are the new black.
Nina Garcia has a book coming out. And in it, she says that one shouldn't "schlep around in drawstring pants and tees" when home. We weren't aware that our refrigerator and couch are as disgusted by our pajamas as Nina Garcia apparently is. We will not be heeding her advice.
Also with a new book is Garcia's former Project Runway comrade Tim Gunn. He too thinks comfort is for fools and suggests that those who don't enjoy the burden of dressing up or using the right fork should "invest in a hospital gurney and wheel yourself around on it when you need to go out." Our order is already placed, Timmy. Our order is already placed.
And hysterical Flight of the Conchord's actress Kristen Schaal has co-authored a book with Daily Show writer Rich Blomquist called, The Sexy Book of Sexy Sex. Their favorite birthday party pick-up line: Are you a birthday candle? Because I'd like to blow you until I get my wish. (But only if you aren't wearing sweatpants.)