Au Revoir, Oughts
Two-thousand and nine was a hell of a year. The economically terrorized globe was blah and depressed, and that's putting it mildly. The fashion world was no different, with few standout moments or soul-stirring collections to speak of. And unlike most years, which typically feature a handful of cringe-worthy trends we love to hate -- in 2009, even the bad trends were boring.
There were far fewer crotch shots, spray tan disasters and horrid Ed Hardy hats to be found, as the usual offenders seemed to lay low (minus John Gosselin, but we read somewhere today that he was turned away from a Subaru dealer after trying to downgrade his BMW, so we're giving him a break). Even Tiger Woods' mistresses, who — lets be real here — are completely busted-looking, didn't commit fashion crimes worse than looking like patrons of a college-town Chili's.
So this year's trends that must die are less offensive, albeit more overexposed, than certain body part-baring mistakes of the past. Like lemmings, the masses flocked to complicated fur vests that add padding in the wrong places, platform booties that channel an orthopedic device and shredded jeans that, while cute at first, eventually turned into a Wet Seal staple.
Here is our list of the trends we don't want to see again until the next housing bubble bursts. We can only hope that in 2010, reality stars are more lively and Paris Hilton is back on the scene.
Fur Vests
The cool quotient of this keep-warm accoutrement faded the minute it reached middle America's masses via Rachel Zoe's QVC nameplate.
As Seen on TV: Rachel Zoe faux fur vest, $79.80. QVC.com
And the fashion forces agree, with designers including Karl Lagerfeld, Proenza Schuler and Jenni Kayne showing minimalistic vests for spring sans any sign of roadkill.
Minimal Vestige: From left, Acne, Jenni Kayne, Proenza Schuler and Karl Lagerfeld.
If you absolutely insist on getting a fur fix in the coming year, take a cue from Vera Wang, Roland Mouret and Dennis Basso who each showed fur boleros on their spring 2010 catwalks -- which, when compared to the untamed vests of '09, look like a dainty embellishment instead of something the cat coughed up.
Furry Beast: From left, Dennis Basso, Roland Mouret and Vera Wang.